First World Difficulties
This week has been tough. Not 'cancer diagnosis' tough, definitely on the spectrum of 'first world difficulties', but tough, nonetheless.
The middle week of the (UK) summer holidays was encumbered with an unexpected suite of life admin, when our family VW (named "Hero") died as he lived, heroically (e.g slipping a tooth on his cam chain, safely parked, and a 2 minute walk from the playground, rather than mid-motorway).
Buying a used car can be fun, but it's also fraught, with never ending risk assessments taking up a lot of CPU. Thankfully, after taking the bull by the horns for the last three days, our new wagon was delivered yesterday and is parked outside (working title "Mike"). The garage will help us send Hero to Vehicular Valhalla on Monday.
The experience of test driving the used cars of Facebook Marketplace, has left me feeling like a boss. I drove with two large, Czhech men, one of whom spoke no english, the other used his language to bullshit me, about why the wheels made thumping noises on full lock.
The lovely fella who sold us his Peugot, expressed surprise at my comprehensive questions and asked if my husband would like to speak to him directly. He assumed I had been acting as go-between the two men. "I don't mean to be sexist", he said. Er, no, that was all me.
In my youth I'd have trained as a mechanic, but fortunately I tried the building trade first (exterior plasterer) and discovered I'm not really resilient in a physical, dirty, cold, I-have-to-do-this-every-day? kind of way. In fact, I’d quit exterior plastering by first smoko. But the interest remains. Particularly when it can mean the difference between buying a beautiful (and cheap!) Honda with two stuffed CV joints, and buying a steady little Peugot.
Between school holidays, car shopping and an already highly prioritised workload, I chose to let the fires burn and choose to do only one piece of work.
I left opportunities on the table, ignored a self-imposed deadline, and was slow to reply to several emails. And, except for one moment yesterday when it felt like the whole world was sitting on me, I've managed to do this without negative self talk, nor undue stress.
I am really proud of how I handled this week. When I was younger, I would have forced myself to hit every deadline, even those that were easily rescheduled. I would have prioritised everything - except my health and sleep - so that everyone was looked after, and they saw me at my best, and no chinks were visible in my armour.
I prefer this way of being - to choose what is essential and cannot be cut from the schedule, and what is not essential, and can be put off for less encumbered times.
